“I told my teacher I couldn’t turn in an online assignment because the internet was down. (I just wasn’t finished.) But I sent her an email saying this, so she called me out on my bullshit.”
(submitted by Sasu Techane)
First World Problems i
Useful resources
“I can’t lift the large spring water cooler refill at my office, so I have to walk to a different floor to use theirs.”
(submitted by Gianna)
“I have no cash, but, like $20 in change. I refuse to spend it because I don’t want to look like THAT kind of person, and I won’t put it into a coin machine because they take 10% of it.”
(submitted by themanpuntedbaxter)
“I was given too many bottles of champagne for my engagement and now the fridge is full.”
(submitted by portobellorose)
“I walked into the kitchen to my boyfriend having a very troubled expression while staring at an empty bowl. He looked up at me and said, ‘I can’t decide whether or not to go for a third bowl of cereal.’”
(submitted by Monica)
“I shop at Wal-Mart because I’m broke, but I want to dress hip so the other people there don’t think I’m one of them. But I can’t, because all my clothes are from Wal-Mart.”
“I can’t think of anything new to steampunk.”
(submitted by calamityjon)
“I don’t know how much longer I can keep up the charade that I like softball.”
“I was buying soda on the internet, but I didn’t buy enough to qualify for free 2-day shipping from Amazon. So I bought a copy of a book I already own to put me over the limit. I couldn’t think of anything else.”
“I’m not driving to LA anymore because you have to smell cows on the way down.”
(submitted by brindztherapy)
“I don’t pirate movies out of some sorry sense of entitlement. I pirate movies because at the present moment I know of no other means of watching a high-definition copy of an older film without buying it outright.”
(not submitted by Mike D’Angelo, but dude, come the fuck on)
“My Porsche is too old to be new, and not old enough to be classic.”
(submitted by Paul Holland)
