My masseuse is busy this Thursday. I’ll have to wait till Tuesday.

I’m annoyed that my family only takes vacations to Costa Rica since we bought a house there.

I have too much chips for my dip, but if I open more dip, I’ll have too much dip for my chips.

Wife bought me a Google Chrome Cast, now I have more HDMI devices than I have HDMI inputs.

I can’t find my favorite pair of pants. They must be in my closet in my second home.

My Home Owners Association won’t heat the pool enough to use it on windy days.

My Mercedes has heated seats but doesn’t have a heated steering wheel and it was really really cold yesterday.

My dishwasher doesn’t clean my champagne glasses very well because her hands are too big.

My oldest son is watching the 50-inch TV; my youngest son is playing Xbox on the 45-inch TV; and my daughter is watching a Blu-ray on the 40-inch TV; so I have to watch my TV show on the 10-inch iPad.

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