“I’m a classics student, so I can get practically any book I need as a free e-book download. But I buy them in paperback versions anyway because I don’t want people to think I’m poor.”
“My noblesse oblige is not being properly acknowledged by the servant classes.”
“I learned so much about Japanese culture so I could appreciate all the references in anime that I missed the last decade or so of what happened in American culture.”
“I’ve started actively rooting for the cancellation of “Game of Thrones” because there’s just too many good shows on Sunday night for me to watch.”
“This screenplay I wrote is so far past post-ironic that it’s actually approaching ironic again from the other direction.”
“I used to think it was cool to be quiet and keep to myself, but now I’m worried that my neighbors will believe that I’m a serial killer.”
“My gardener’s suggestion that my cilantro peach salsa is not “authentic” has me wondering if he really is from Mexico.”
(submitted by aaadinosaur)
“Our nation’s parks and wildlife preserves are woefully underequipped when it comes to Wi-Fi signals.”