First World Problems i
Useful resources
“I had a brilliant idea for a fake Twitter account of a local celebrity months ago, and set up an account for it, but never actually started tweeting. Just last week, someone else started a fake Twitter account for the same local celebrity, and whoever it is is totally doing an awesome job. But it was my idea first! No fair!”
(submitted by skywesterncrooked)
“I took some ibuprofen today, and I felt like I was cheating on my traditional herbal remedies.”
“I worry the Japanese have outpaced us in potato chip flavoring technology.”
“You know, sometimes I think Facebook is nothing more than a sophisticated, addictive advertising platform. I guess I just need to work harder at understanding it.”
“Fucking Detroit. Why couldn’t MY city have a popular ’80s sci-fi movie icon we could waste a bunch of money building a statue of?”
“It’s getting to the point where hot cultural trends are taking place faster than I can come up with a way to tie them in to Star Wars.”
“As we stood outside in the cold, watching the flames incinerate our house and all of our possessions, I cast a wary eye at her, with her singed purple bathrobe, and the ash on her face and in her hair and all over her semi-ironic monster truck show tee, and I broke the news as gently as I could: “Baby, I know we need clothes, but if we go to the store now, we could end up on People Of Walmart.”
(submitted by Hayden Childs)
“I found a dog that’s just the right size for my car, but it’s slightly too big for my purse, and slightly too small for my apartment.”
“How did I not know there was a new Sade album out?”
(submitted by fuckyeahsalmon)
“I’m having trouble thinking of good cross-promotional strategies for my new book on reducing consumer spending.”
“My TiVo keeps cutting off the Moment of Zen.”
(submitted by fuckyeahsalmon)
