“The other day, I heard someone say it was the journey and not the destination. I said something about how much I liked “Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’” before I realized he wasn’t talking about the band.”
“I’m tired of all these initiatives to improve science and math education. How about an initiative to make math less boring?”
“The pizza place near me only has toppings from the Italian tradition. Where’s the Thai pizza?”
“In hindsight, it wasn’t a good move to bet all that money on Wrestlemania.”
“I got really zooted this afternoon and forgot all about the NORML rally.”
“My fashion sense has not survived a clash with global warming.”
“Even in natural disasters, the east coast gets all the attention.”
“I know I should evacuate my apartment, but what if someone else’s blog is the first to publish Hipstamatic shots of Hurricane Irene hitting my neighborhood?”
“I demand civil rights for all the people I hate.”
“I am ready for some football. I am also ready for some college football. I’m worried my football preparedness factor may be too high.”
“I have spent hundreds more hours thinking, writing, and posting about how much I hate the Google+ real name policy than I have any other social issue in my entire life.”