“I’m outraged at the exploitation of bees, but I’m having trouble coming up with an action plan to combat it.”
“My internet was down, so I had to buy a GPS to figure out how to get to my job interview.”
(submitted by musesrealm)
“It cost me close to a hundred dollars to buy holiday stamps appropriate to every religion on my mailing list.”
“Liking things just because they’re gay-friendly is starting to become exhausting.”
“The people on my Facebook Close Friends filter are getting jealous of the people in my Google+ Close Friends circle.”
“My Siri isn’t responding well. I’m worried it thinks I’m taking a tone with it.”
“My kid was learning about the Resurrection in Sunday school last weekend, and he was all, ‘pics or it didn’t happen’.”
“I tried using one-ply toilet paper because it’s better for the environment, but it ended up causing me to waste a lot more water than usual.”
“So far, my claim to be a ‘ruralsexual’ isn’t catching on.”