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First World Problems i

“I know you’re not supposed to eat before you go to bed, but I have insomnia, and I’m hungry.”

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January 2, 2012 @ 12:05 AM 29 notes

“I got so loaded for New Year’s Eve I forgot to update my Tumblr account. Where are my priorities?”

(Happy new year, honkies!)
January 1, 2012 @ 3:50 AM 5 notes

“My internet-capable fridge only connects to Twitter, and not Facebook.”

(submitted by Jessica)
December 31, 2011 @ 1:21 AM 10 notes

“The guy who cleans my yard barely seemed to be listening when I told him about all the stuff I got for Christmas.”

December 30, 2011 @ 1:28 AM 12 notes

“I ordered a molecular gastronomy kit online but I forgot to check beforehand that their agar was ethically sourced.”

(submitted by calamityjon)
December 29, 2011 @ 12:49 AM 3 notes

“I can’t fit all of the gift cards I received at Christmas into my wallet.”

(submitted by Amahow)
December 29, 2011 @ 12:47 AM 19 notes

“I have caviar stuck in my braces.”

(submitted by Erica)
December 27, 2011 @ 12:33 AM 14 notes

“I don’t know whether I should bring taleggio to a raclette party.”

(submitted by Eeyore)
December 26, 2011 @ 12:20 AM 2 notes

“I’ve been saying “Peace on Earth, good will towards men, women and transgenders”, but it really messes up the scansion.”

December 25, 2011 @ 12:22 AM 14 notes

“Global warming has proven incompatible with my preferred temperature for Christmas cheer.”

December 24, 2011 @ 1:06 AM 42 notes

“I started smoking to be more like Don Draper, and now I have emphysema.”

December 23, 2011 @ 12:30 AM 5 notes

“My cousin made fun of me because I thought the Arab Spring was a band.”

December 22, 2011 @ 12:40 AM 10 notes