My fat pants are now just pants.
The one day I try to sleep in, my maid wakes me up.
I hate my job, but I make to much money to justify finding a new one.
I changed my email password and now I have to re-enter it individually into my desktop mail app, iPad, and iPhone
I’m hungry… but not for any of the food in my house.
My masseuse is busy this Thursday. I’ll have to wait till Tuesday.
I’m annoyed that my family only takes vacations to Costa Rica since we bought a house there.
I have too much chips for my dip, but if I open more dip, I’ll have too much dip for my chips.
Wife bought me a Google Chrome Cast, now I have more HDMI devices than I have HDMI inputs.
I can’t find my favorite pair of pants. They must be in my closet in my second home.