April 2012
16 posts
I have an essay to write, and Microsoft spell check doesn’t think...
– (submitted by pepilucibom)
March 2012
27 posts
I put a bandaid on my thumb and now I can only text with one hand.
– (submitted by nyaaaaah)
I don’t know exactly how to formulate an effective protest against laws...
It’s nap time and my housekeeper is not done cleaning. How will I sleep?
– (submitted by letskillthelawyers)
I’m finding it difficult to sit comfortably because of the massive amount...
– (submitted by shahdawg)
Something something Hunger Games something black people something.
It sucks that I have a check so large that I can’t deposit it using my iPhone...
– (submitted by bcerkvenik)
Both of my Kindles are out of juice. How am I supposed to read tonight?
– (submitted by dirtyfootedhippie)
I coined the term ‘booty sleep’ and it’s not catching on.
The robot that brought me my fresh gourmet cupcake from the 24-hour cupcake...
– (submitted by Kelly)
I can never really enjoy St. Patrick’s Day because green and orange are...
They took the armchair out of the elevator in my dorm building. Now we have to...
– (submitted by sarahwilhelm)
NPR and PBS are both having their spring pledge drives. All of my normal...
– (submitted by Lester)
I just found out you can eat things with sugar and not get diabetes. So much...
My driver got us lost on the way to the yacht broker.
– (submitted by George P. McDougall III)
As we were dining at the nicest place in town, I was (fruitlessly) searching for...
– (submitted by reflexionesthetiques)
Daylight Savings Time has completely thrown off my TV viewing schedule.
Trust me, you just don’t get a good cheese selection at resorts in the Maldives.
– (submitted by oldfilmposters)
I like to buy imported produce, but it’s usually spoiled by the time I get...
As my chocolate milk fell down the vending machine, it fell on something that...
– (submitted by LT)
I need some data on which is cooler, Africa or South America, so I can make an...
Just spent 20 minutes tucking in my shirt and making it all perfect. Now I have...
– (submitted by riceobsession)
I rock so much cash my wallet is giving me sciatica.
I told my teacher I couldn’t turn in an online assignment because the internet...
– (submitted by Sasu Techane)
I can’t lift the large spring water cooler refill at my office, so I have to...
– (submitted by Gianna)
I have no cash, but, like $20 in change. I refuse to spend it because I...
– (submitted by themanpuntedbaxter)
I was given too many bottles of champagne for my engagement and now the fridge...
– (submitted by portobellorose) 
