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June 2011
30 posts
“What foreign accent can I pretend to have to impress retail clerks?”
Jun 1st
May 2011
29 posts
“The afterlife is severely lacking market choices.”
May 31st
2 notes
“Outsmarted by a six-year-old. AGAIN.”
May 30th
1 note
“I want to start slaughtering my own meat so I can be a real back-to-the-lander...”
May 29th
“It took me half an hour to wish a co-worker Happy Memorial Day, because I had to...”
May 28th
“The other day I had to change my own flat tire because my AAA membership...”
– (submitted by markematics)
May 27th
1 note
“Like other white people, I am very concerned about the prejudice against white...”
May 26th
3 notes
“I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to laugh at ‘Sanford &...”
May 25th
1 note
“I feel like I’ve got a pretty firm grip on my ’90s nostalgia, but my...”
May 24th
1 note
“I almost had to drink some water today that didn’t taste like anything.”
May 23rd
2 notes
“I’m starting to anticipate the DVD encoding company logos at the end of my...”
May 22nd
1 note
“When I’m on my deathbed, I don’t want to have to ask myself: are...”
May 21st
2 notes
“I think the New York Times’ Style section may not always have my best...”
May 20th
1 note
“What’s the most polite way to ask someone if they’re in the Mafia?”
May 19th
1 note
“Oh, man. What if shooting guns becomes really hip?”
May 18th
“Thanks a lot, Trump. I put $50 on you to win the 2012 Republican nomination...”
May 17th
1 note
“Two of the countries I planned to vacation in one day no longer exist.”
May 16th
1 note
“Picking up dogshit while looking cool: this is my final frontier.”
May 14th
1 note
“I took my parents to church last Sunday and the minister was talking about how...”
May 13th
3 notes
“There’s not enough diversity in the songs I get stuck in my head.”
May 12th
1 note

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