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June 2011
30 posts
“I want to have a closer connection to the origins of my food. But I also want...”
Jun 30th
“I worry that I’m not doing enough to promote the entertainment product of...”
Jun 29th
1 note
“My house looks like a movie set, but I don’t think it’s a movie I...”
Jun 28th
1 note
“I feel like girls would like be more likely to IM me if there were more pictures...”
– (submitted by betweenalampshadeandthedrunk)
Jun 27th
“I’ve been cheating on the last ten seasons of “The Simpsons”.”
Jun 26th
“What am I going to do NOW to convince my gay friends in New York that I like...”
Jun 25th
“My child may grow up in a world where being a trending topic on Twitter is just...”
Jun 24th
1 note
“If aliens land, I’m sure they’ll want to hear about all my...”
Jun 23rd
“I’m turning out facile when what I really wanted to be was...”
Jun 22nd
“When I meet someone for the first time, I’m always torn between the...”
Jun 21st
1 note
“I only have three robots in my house, and none of them seem capable of murder.”
Jun 20th
1 note
“I wished my father a Happy Patriarchy Day and he just called me an entitled...”
Jun 19th
2 notes
“I wish I lived somewhere with hipper currency.”
Jun 18th
“I have still not found the perfect medium by which to alert everyone around me...”
Jun 17th
2 notes
“I am now routinely outsmarted by my car, my telephone, and my toddler.”
Jun 16th
1 note
“I can’t believe I have to wait six whole months before I can start 2010s...”
Jun 15th
1 note
“I’m putting my anti-consumerist, anti-technological tirades on the...”
Jun 14th
“I’m not having much luck with my attempt to make ’30s nostalgia a...”
Jun 13th
3 notes
“My summer project is to find a way of making sex more boring through the...”
Jun 12th
“My obsessive-compulsive tendencies are getting in the way of my...”
Jun 11th
3 notes
“My biggest fear is that I won’t die of anything profound.”
Jun 10th
9 notes
“Getting really into zoning doesn’t seem to be making me cooler.”
Jun 9th
“Storage space of less than a megabyte may be too high a price to pay for my...”
Jun 8th
“I’ve been lying on my Facebook quizzes. I know I’m only cheating...”
Jun 7th
1 note
“My reach may have exceeded my grasp with this new ‘A List of Everyone Who...”
Jun 6th
“Pretending to be rich costs a lot more than it used to.”
Jun 5th
3 notes
“I deeply respect all law enforcement officers, including the cocksucker who gave...”
Jun 4th
1 note
“I’ve run out of co-workers to explain power pop to. Maybe we’ll...”
Jun 3rd
“I tried explaining to the judge that my car has a performance engine, but he...”
Jun 2nd
“What foreign accent can I pretend to have to impress retail clerks?”
Jun 1st

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