June 2011
30 posts

I want to have a closer connection to the origins of my food. But I also want...

I worry that I’m not doing enough to promote the entertainment product of...

My house looks like a movie set, but I don’t think it’s a movie I...

I feel like girls would like be more likely to IM me if there were more pictures...
– (submitted by betweenalampshadeandthedrunk) 
I’ve been cheating on the last ten seasons of “The Simpsons”.

What am I going to do NOW to convince my gay friends in New York that I like...

My child may grow up in a world where being a trending topic on Twitter is just...

If aliens land, I’m sure they’ll want to hear about all my...

I’m turning out facile when what I really wanted to be was...

When I meet someone for the first time, I’m always torn between the...

I only have three robots in my house, and none of them seem capable of murder.

I wished my father a Happy Patriarchy Day and he just called me an entitled...

I wish I lived somewhere with hipper currency.

I have still not found the perfect medium by which to alert everyone around me...

I am now routinely outsmarted by my car, my telephone, and my toddler.

I can’t believe I have to wait six whole months before I can start 2010s...

I’m putting my anti-consumerist, anti-technological tirades on the...

I’m not having much luck with my attempt to make ’30s nostalgia a...

My summer project is to find a way of making sex more boring through the...

My obsessive-compulsive tendencies are getting in the way of my...

My biggest fear is that I won’t die of anything profound.

Getting really into zoning doesn’t seem to be making me cooler.

Storage space of less than a megabyte may be too high a price to pay for my...

I’ve been lying on my Facebook quizzes. I know I’m only cheating...

My reach may have exceeded my grasp with this new ‘A List of Everyone Who...

Pretending to be rich costs a lot more than it used to.

I deeply respect all law enforcement officers, including the cocksucker who gave...

I’ve run out of co-workers to explain power pop to. Maybe we’ll...

I tried explaining to the judge that my car has a performance engine, but he...

What foreign accent can I pretend to have to impress retail clerks?