June 2011
30 posts
“I want to have a closer connection to the origins of my food. But I also want...”
“I worry that I’m not doing enough to promote the entertainment product of...”
“My house looks like a movie set, but I don’t think it’s a movie I...”
“I feel like girls would like be more likely to IM me if there were more pictures...”
– (submitted by betweenalampshadeandthedrunk)
“I’ve been cheating on the last ten seasons of “The Simpsons”.”
“What am I going to do NOW to convince my gay friends in New York that I like...”
“My child may grow up in a world where being a trending topic on Twitter is just...”
“If aliens land, I’m sure they’ll want to hear about all my...”
“I’m turning out facile when what I really wanted to be was...”
“When I meet someone for the first time, I’m always torn between the...”
“I only have three robots in my house, and none of them seem capable of murder.”
“I wished my father a Happy Patriarchy Day and he just called me an entitled...”
“I wish I lived somewhere with hipper currency.”
“I have still not found the perfect medium by which to alert everyone around me...”
“I am now routinely outsmarted by my car, my telephone, and my toddler.”
“I can’t believe I have to wait six whole months before I can start 2010s...”
“I’m putting my anti-consumerist, anti-technological tirades on the...”
“I’m not having much luck with my attempt to make ’30s nostalgia a...”
“My summer project is to find a way of making sex more boring through the...”
“My obsessive-compulsive tendencies are getting in the way of my...”
“My biggest fear is that I won’t die of anything profound.”
“Getting really into zoning doesn’t seem to be making me cooler.”
“Storage space of less than a megabyte may be too high a price to pay for my...”
“I’ve been lying on my Facebook quizzes. I know I’m only cheating...”
“My reach may have exceeded my grasp with this new ‘A List of Everyone Who...”
“Pretending to be rich costs a lot more than it used to.”
“I deeply respect all law enforcement officers, including the cocksucker who gave...”
“I’ve run out of co-workers to explain power pop to. Maybe we’ll...”
“I tried explaining to the judge that my car has a performance engine, but he...”
“What foreign accent can I pretend to have to impress retail clerks?”
