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May 2011
29 posts
“The afterlife is severely lacking market choices.”
May 31st
2 notes
“Outsmarted by a six-year-old. AGAIN.”
May 30th
1 note
“I want to start slaughtering my own meat so I can be a real back-to-the-lander...”
May 29th
“It took me half an hour to wish a co-worker Happy Memorial Day, because I had to...”
May 28th
“The other day I had to change my own flat tire because my AAA membership...”
– (submitted by markematics)
May 27th
1 note
“Like other white people, I am very concerned about the prejudice against white...”
May 26th
3 notes
“I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to laugh at ‘Sanford &...”
May 25th
1 note
“I feel like I’ve got a pretty firm grip on my ’90s nostalgia, but my...”
May 24th
1 note
“I almost had to drink some water today that didn’t taste like anything.”
May 23rd
2 notes
“I’m starting to anticipate the DVD encoding company logos at the end of my...”
May 22nd
1 note
“When I’m on my deathbed, I don’t want to have to ask myself: are...”
May 21st
2 notes
“I think the New York Times’ Style section may not always have my best...”
May 20th
1 note
“What’s the most polite way to ask someone if they’re in the Mafia?”
May 19th
1 note
“Oh, man. What if shooting guns becomes really hip?”
May 18th
“Thanks a lot, Trump. I put $50 on you to win the 2012 Republican nomination...”
May 17th
1 note
“Two of the countries I planned to vacation in one day no longer exist.”
May 16th
1 note
“Picking up dogshit while looking cool: this is my final frontier.”
May 14th
1 note
“I took my parents to church last Sunday and the minister was talking about how...”
May 13th
3 notes
“There’s not enough diversity in the songs I get stuck in my head.”
May 12th
1 note
“I’m suffering from area code anxiety.”
May 11th
“The number of devices I own to watch reruns of television shows has reached...”
May 10th
1 note
“My web browsing has been delayed by several seconds today! Lousy terrorists.”
May 9th
3 notes
“Even I’m bored with my picture-a-day photoblog. But can I disappoint my...”
May 8th
1 note
“I need some motion sickness medicine, but I’m embarrassed to tell my...”
May 7th
1 note
“Now that Canada has become more conservative, I don’t know what country to...”
May 5th
3 notes
“I don’t think I’m ready to have that first conversation with my kid...”
May 4th
“Climate change is really playing hell with my utility bills.”
May 3rd
“It’s remarkably difficult to find a Hallmark card that conveys the...”
May 2nd
1 note
“I paid all this money for a vintage fainting couch, and nobody’s fainted...”
May 1st
1 note

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