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December 2011
31 posts
“My internet-capable fridge only connects to Twitter, and not Facebook.”
– (submitted by Jessica)
Dec 31st
10 notes
“The guy who cleans my yard barely seemed to be listening when I told him about...”
Dec 30th
12 notes
“I ordered a molecular gastronomy kit online but I forgot to check beforehand...”
– (submitted by calamityjon)
Dec 29th
3 notes
“I can’t fit all of the gift cards I received at Christmas into my wallet.”
– (submitted by Amahow)
Dec 29th
19 notes
“I have caviar stuck in my braces.”
– (submitted by Erica)
Dec 27th
14 notes
“I don’t know whether I should bring taleggio to a raclette party.”
– (submitted by Eeyore)
Dec 26th
2 notes
“I’ve been saying “Peace on Earth, good will towards men, women and...”
Dec 25th
14 notes
“Global warming has proven incompatible with my preferred temperature for...”
Dec 24th
44 notes
“I started smoking to be more like Don Draper, and now I have emphysema.”
Dec 23rd
5 notes
“My cousin made fun of me because I thought the Arab Spring was a band.”
Dec 22nd
10 notes
“I have no idea how to reheat my leftover omelette, so I guess I’ll just...”
– (submitted by followtawny)
Dec 21st
9 notes
“Nobody believes me when I describe my cocaine habit as “retro”.”
Dec 20th
11 notes
“I like Mexican wrestling and Japanese wrestling more than American wrestling,...”
– (Thanks to Glen Stone for mentioning FWP in the Toronto Sun!)
Dec 19th
2 notes
“I wish I hadn’t used all my pain pills for non-pain-related purposes.”
Dec 18th
28 notes
“I lost the Buddha bead bracelet I bought outside a temple in Tibet… and I’d feel...”
– (submitted by normanl1981)
Dec 18th
5 notes
“I was going to write an angry blog post about the state of the free WiFi in this...”
– (submitted by michaelbirks)
Dec 16th
30 notes
“I have to wear a regular motorcycle helmet because the two Bluetooth models I...”
– (submitted by electrawoman)
Dec 15th
3 notes
“I was always told learning languages would make me a more valuable employee, but...”
Dec 14th
15 notes
“Craigslist is the favorite online destination for serial killers, but I’m...”
Dec 13th
22 notes
“I have a lot of white guilt, but I’m mixed-race, so I only feel it half as...”
Dec 12th
22 notes
“My golf cart stalled. Now I have to hitch a ride with the people we let play...”
– (submitted by Jon Lipovich)
Dec 11th
4 notes
“My Kidsongs collection isn’t hardcore enough.”
Dec 10th
1 note
“I was not served Indian food on my flight to India.”
– (submitted by adamzivo)
Dec 9th
6 notes
“I wanted to hear more about the War On Christmas, but I couldn’t find a...”
Dec 8th
13 notes
“I want to be able to watch this movie in the original Italian, have the...”
Dec 7th
2 notes
“I have to take the stairs every day in my condo instead of using the elevator in...”
– (submitted by floatingscript)
Dec 6th
4 notes
“I can’t decide which stamps properly express my indifference towards...”
Dec 5th
9 notes
“The turn signal on the car ahead of me doesn’t match the rhythm of the song I’m...”
– (submitted by Nick)
Dec 4th
53 notes
“I can’t find an impressive historical figure who has my particular set of...”
Dec 3rd
10 notes
“‘Family Guy’ is on two different channels at the same time and I...”
– (submitted by jacquez92)
Dec 2nd
15 notes
“I can’t find an on-line application that gives me an adequate translation...”
Dec 2nd
2 notes

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