December 2011
31 posts

My internet-capable fridge only connects to Twitter, and not Facebook.
– (submitted by Jessica) 
The guy who cleans my yard barely seemed to be listening when I told him about...

I ordered a molecular gastronomy kit online but I forgot to check beforehand...
– (submitted by calamityjon) 
I can’t fit all of the gift cards I received at Christmas into my wallet.
– (submitted by Amahow) 
I have caviar stuck in my braces.
– (submitted by Erica) 
I don’t know whether I should bring taleggio to a raclette party.
– (submitted by Eeyore) 
I’ve been saying “Peace on Earth, good will towards men, women and...

Global warming has proven incompatible with my preferred temperature for...

I started smoking to be more like Don Draper, and now I have emphysema.

My cousin made fun of me because I thought the Arab Spring was a band.

I have no idea how to reheat my leftover omelette, so I guess I’ll just...
– (submitted by followtawny) 
Nobody believes me when I describe my cocaine habit as “retro”.

I like Mexican wrestling and Japanese wrestling more than American wrestling,...
– (Thanks to Glen Stone for mentioning FWP in the Toronto Sun!) 
I wish I hadn’t used all my pain pills for non-pain-related purposes.

I lost the Buddha bead bracelet I bought outside a temple in Tibet… and I’d feel...
– (submitted by normanl1981) 
I was going to write an angry blog post about the state of the free WiFi in this...
– (submitted by michaelbirks) 
I have to wear a regular motorcycle helmet because the two Bluetooth models I...
– (submitted by electrawoman) 
I was always told learning languages would make me a more valuable employee, but...

Craigslist is the favorite online destination for serial killers, but I’m...

I have a lot of white guilt, but I’m mixed-race, so I only feel it half as...

My golf cart stalled. Now I have to hitch a ride with the people we let play...
– (submitted by Jon Lipovich) 
My Kidsongs collection isn’t hardcore enough.

I was not served Indian food on my flight to India.
– (submitted by adamzivo) 
I wanted to hear more about the War On Christmas, but I couldn’t find a...

I want to be able to watch this movie in the original Italian, have the...

I have to take the stairs every day in my condo instead of using the elevator in...
– (submitted by floatingscript) 
I can’t decide which stamps properly express my indifference towards...

The turn signal on the car ahead of me doesn’t match the rhythm of the song I’m...
– (submitted by Nick) 
I can’t find an impressive historical figure who has my particular set of...

‘Family Guy’ is on two different channels at the same time and I...
– (submitted by jacquez92) 
I can’t find an on-line application that gives me an adequate translation...