December 2011
31 posts
“My internet-capable fridge only connects to Twitter, and not Facebook.”
– (submitted by Jessica)
“The guy who cleans my yard barely seemed to be listening when I told him about...”
“I ordered a molecular gastronomy kit online but I forgot to check beforehand...”
– (submitted by calamityjon)
“I can’t fit all of the gift cards I received at Christmas into my wallet.”
– (submitted by Amahow)
“I have caviar stuck in my braces.”
– (submitted by Erica)
“I don’t know whether I should bring taleggio to a raclette party.”
– (submitted by Eeyore)
“I’ve been saying “Peace on Earth, good will towards men, women and...”
“Global warming has proven incompatible with my preferred temperature for...”
“I started smoking to be more like Don Draper, and now I have emphysema.”
“My cousin made fun of me because I thought the Arab Spring was a band.”
“I have no idea how to reheat my leftover omelette, so I guess I’ll just...”
– (submitted by followtawny)
“Nobody believes me when I describe my cocaine habit as “retro”.”
“I like Mexican wrestling and Japanese wrestling more than American wrestling,...”
– (Thanks to Glen Stone for mentioning FWP in the Toronto Sun!)
“I wish I hadn’t used all my pain pills for non-pain-related purposes.”
“I lost the Buddha bead bracelet I bought outside a temple in Tibet… and I’d feel...”
– (submitted by normanl1981)
“I was going to write an angry blog post about the state of the free WiFi in this...”
– (submitted by michaelbirks)
“I have to wear a regular motorcycle helmet because the two Bluetooth models I...”
– (submitted by electrawoman)
“I was always told learning languages would make me a more valuable employee, but...”
“Craigslist is the favorite online destination for serial killers, but I’m...”
“I have a lot of white guilt, but I’m mixed-race, so I only feel it half as...”
“My golf cart stalled. Now I have to hitch a ride with the people we let play...”
– (submitted by Jon Lipovich)
“My Kidsongs collection isn’t hardcore enough.”
“I was not served Indian food on my flight to India.”
– (submitted by adamzivo)
“I wanted to hear more about the War On Christmas, but I couldn’t find a...”
“I want to be able to watch this movie in the original Italian, have the...”
“I have to take the stairs every day in my condo instead of using the elevator in...”
– (submitted by floatingscript)
“I can’t decide which stamps properly express my indifference towards...”
“The turn signal on the car ahead of me doesn’t match the rhythm of the song I’m...”
– (submitted by Nick)
“I can’t find an impressive historical figure who has my particular set of...”
“‘Family Guy’ is on two different channels at the same time and I...”
– (submitted by jacquez92)
“I can’t find an on-line application that gives me an adequate translation...”
