“Our nation’s parks and wildlife preserves are woefully underequipped when it comes to Wi-Fi signals.”
“Every time I see a list of fake Criterion Collection movies, I think they sound way better than the stuff they’re actually releasing.”
“I have an essay to write, and Microsoft spell check doesn’t think “heteronormativity” is a word.”
(submitted by pepilucibom)
“I don’t know exactly how to formulate an effective protest against laws that work in my favor.”
“It’s nap time and my housekeeper is not done cleaning. How will I sleep?”
(submitted by letskillthelawyers)
“Something something Hunger Games something black people something.”
“Both of my Kindles are out of juice. How am I supposed to read tonight?”
(submitted by dirtyfootedhippie)
“I coined the term ‘booty sleep’ and it’s not catching on.”