May 2012
9 posts
“I couldn’t get pizza delivered to my summer home the first day I was...”
– (submitted by nataliegales)
“It cost me six bucks on a four-dollar order before I could get the barista at...”
“The checkout guy at Whole Foods didn’t think it was funny when I asked if...”
“I lost the cultural moment when the emotion that sitcoms were supposed to...”
“Some chick asked me what I would do with 10 million bucks. I told her I’d...”
– (submitted by flyinathlete)
“The pressure to have an opinion about the Avengers movie is like a physical...”
“I’m really disappointed in the quality of these Victorian clip art samples I’ve...”
– (submitted by calamityjon)
“The fact that I’m paying money for Hulu+ and I have to watch political...”
“The rental car I got on vacation had plates from a different state than the one...”
– (submitted by candycollector)
April 2012
16 posts
“The jazz music playing in this cafe is drowning out the sound of me typing on my...”
– (submitted by kuaara)
“I want to go for a walk around the neighborhood but I can’t until I find...”
– (submitted by lukielau)
“I’m a classics student, so I can get practically any book I need as a free...”
“My noblesse oblige is not being properly acknowledged by the servant classes.”
“I live rent free in a three-bedroom house with a garden in North London with...”
– (submitted by kashon)
“I learned so much about Japanese culture so I could appreciate all the...”
“Brazil was gorgeous, but the favelas really ruined the experience on my way to...”
– (submitted by trk)
“I’ve started actively rooting for the cancellation of “Game of...”
“This screenplay I wrote is so far past post-ironic that it’s actually...”
“I used to think it was cool to be quiet and keep to myself, but now I’m...”
“I have fallen into a bathroom synchronization with a guy at work who I never...”
– (Submitted by sburko)
“My gardener’s suggestion that my cilantro peach salsa is not “authentic” has me...”
– (submitted by aaadinosaur)
“My laptop battery isn’t quite long enough for me to watch the Blu-ray...”
– (submitted by at342)
“Our nation’s parks and wildlife preserves are woefully underequipped when...”
“Every time I see a list of fake Criterion Collection movies, I think they sound...”
“I have an essay to write, and Microsoft spell check doesn’t think...”
– (submitted by pepilucibom)
March 2012
27 posts
“I put a bandaid on my thumb and now I can only text with one hand.”
– (submitted by nyaaaaah)
“I don’t know exactly how to formulate an effective protest against laws...”
“It’s nap time and my housekeeper is not done cleaning. How will I sleep?”
– (submitted by letskillthelawyers)
“I’m finding it difficult to sit comfortably because of the massive amount...”
– (submitted by shahdawg)
“Something something Hunger Games something black people something.”
“It sucks that I have a check so large that I can’t deposit it using my iPhone...”
– (submitted by bcerkvenik)
“Both of my Kindles are out of juice. How am I supposed to read tonight?”
– (submitted by dirtyfootedhippie)
“I coined the term ‘booty sleep’ and it’s not catching on.”
“The robot that brought me my fresh gourmet cupcake from the 24-hour cupcake...”
– (submitted by Kelly)
“I can never really enjoy St. Patrick’s Day because green and orange are...”
“They took the armchair out of the elevator in my dorm building. Now we have to...”
– (submitted by sarahwilhelm)
“NPR and PBS are both having their spring pledge drives. All of my normal...”
– (submitted by Lester)
“I just found out you can eat things with sugar and not get diabetes. So much...”
“My driver got us lost on the way to the yacht broker.”
– (submitted by George P. McDougall III)
“As we were dining at the nicest place in town, I was (fruitlessly) searching for...”
– (submitted by reflexionesthetiques)
“Daylight Savings Time has completely thrown off my TV viewing schedule.”
“Trust me, you just don’t get a good cheese selection at resorts in the Maldives.”
– (submitted by oldfilmposters)
“I like to buy imported produce, but it’s usually spoiled by the time I get...”
“As my chocolate milk fell down the vending machine, it fell on something that...”
– (submitted by LT)
“I need some data on which is cooler, Africa or South America, so I can make an...”
“Just spent 20 minutes tucking in my shirt and making it all perfect. Now I have...”
– (submitted by riceobsession)
“I rock so much cash my wallet is giving me sciatica.”
“I told my teacher I couldn’t turn in an online assignment because the internet...”
– (submitted by Sasu Techane)
“I can’t lift the large spring water cooler refill at my office, so I have to...”
– (submitted by Gianna)
“I have no cash, but, like $20 in change. I refuse to spend it because I...”
– (submitted by themanpuntedbaxter)